Rosey’s experience of Antenatal Depression by Rosey Adams

Our third ‘True Story’ for Maternal Mental Health Matters Awareness Week is from the lovely Rosey Adams, founder of #PNDHour

So the little line appears on the home pregnancy test – You’re pregnant!

Wonderful and terrifying at all once.

For some women pregnancy isn’t the glowing, beautiful experience the baby magazines tell you it is, for some – like me, it is beyond exhausting and completely overwhelming, I have suffered with Antenatal Depression three times.

When I was pregnant with my 1st I already had a history of depression, so this put me at higher risk, however you can experience Antenatal Depression whether you’ve any previous history of depression or not. I soon began struggling in this pregnancy but really didn’t understand that Antenatal Depression was a thing, I had no idea, just like many first time mums I thought these were just normal feelings! And because of this I didn’t mention how I was feeling to my midwives.

During my 2nd pregnancy my 1st child was just over a year so being pregnant along with a toddler to look after was exhausting and I struggled to cope a lot of the time, I was very tearful, moody and just no interest in doing anything. but again I didn’t say anything to anyone, I just got on with it because I feared I’d be judged for having another baby so soon, or being young, you name it, I was just worried, I worried be labelled a young mum who can’t cope.

My third experience was by far the worst, from the minute that line appeared I was terrified, my older children were still very young 3.5 and 2. My husband was working long hours, I quickly sunk into depression which up until this pregnancy was at a manageable level (Having suffered with PND only a year or so previously), but I ignored it for a long time, put it down to tiredness (Why do we do that?!).

In my third pregnancy I had thoughts of suicide, this baby was sucking the life out of me, I was beyond exhausted – emotionally, physically, and mentally! I struggled on in silence until my 28wk week appointment with the midwife where I decided to be honest with how I was feeling, I’ll be forever grateful that Dawn, the midwife encouraged me to see the GP there and then, otherwise I know I would have put it on my ‘To do list’ and never done it – and I dread to think how bad things would have got.

I was prescribed Anti Depressants (not everyone’s choice but I knew they would help lift the fog) so the last few months of my pregnancy we’re just a little easier, although I did eventually end up with PND diagnosis too if I hadn’t been given the Anti Depressants when I was, there’s a high chance (and I don’t say this lightly) I wouldn’t have been here typing this post.

To read more about Rosey and PND & me please visit www.pndandme.co.uk

For more information on PMH please visit www.pmhcymru.com

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